Monday, May 20, 2013

On My Heart

It seems as though all I can think about these days if my future.
what's to come.
what's going to happen? 
will it work out?
am I going to be ok? 
what do i want. 
It seems as though all I can feel these days is pain.
what has happened.
my past.
why things didn't work out?
why wasn't it ok?
did i really want that.
It seems as though I've had to make choices in what I independently believe.
am I to believe what my parents taught me?
if this real?
what am I looking for?
what do I really stand up for.
is that even the right thing?
why is this so wrong.

My mind can overwhelm me and my thoughts and be overabundant. 
I have no answers. 
well all but what that is.
I have Jesus.

I'm not saying I'm perfect. I'm not saying I don't doubt.
Calling myself a Christian means that I recognize I'm a sinner
in desperate need of an amazing grace.
it means that I no longer have to fend for myself on my own.
it  means that i'm leaning a little less on my own and a lot more on Jesus.
it means I'm learning to give my life completely to Him.
and that even though I don't know what's to come...
I know who's holding my future and my plans.

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